Today’s Helpful Lesson from Social Media: how we’re allowed to react

I need to take a break from social media. I thought I would have nothing to say today but, golly, suddenly got inspired. So I will shout one thing then leave.

Don’t: just DON’T.

Don’t tell us not to be upset. Don’t give us the “Don’t complain; do something!” speeches. Don’t tell us that anger doesn’t accomplish anything. Don’t explain how you’re so able to be rational and calm and so you can tell us how to react when we’re clearly just being emotional.

If you can do all that? Congrats on you man, clearly that’s important to you. But if we want to grieve, if we want to mourn, if our hearts are fucking breaking for what this means for acceptance and equality then we get to be as loud and messy and as emotional as we want.

People identify men as rational and women as emotional. It’s used as control: if women are emotional, they’re told that they’re automatically being irrational. Maybe if men were able to accept that emotions are not automatically negative, that emotions are not character flaws, that women are not just emotional creatures and emotions are not automatically irrational and hysterical, maybe just maybe the world wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.

Go enjoy your rational intellectual discussions and your thoughtful considered plans. Don’t tell me to be silent. Don’t tell me how to behave. This day of all days, don’t tell women how they should behave for your comfort.

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