Men are characters in their reality, women are props

What you say: “Oh great so now we can’t flirt with women at work because they’ll accuse us of harassing them?”

What we hear when you say that: “Oh great so now I can’t pick the hot girl to hit on because she’s actually a living thinking human being and she has a choice as to whether she wants to flirt with me? And she actually gets to say no? She can tell me to leave her alone and I *have* to?!”

What we know that it actually means: “If I have to treat a woman with actual respect, there are almost none who will go out with me and I won’t get the hot chick I want. I’m just being nice to all the ugly ones.”

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Been seeing a few convos in the GTA comics community from men announcing that women will start arbitrarily accusing men of harassment just for revenge, to be petty, to have the fun melodrama of joining in the witch hunt! Woo hoo! Witch hunt! Go us!

Here’s the truth:  you are not wrong. Well actually (heh) you are somewhat… there are women who are able to speak out and tell stories about quite a number of you. It’s just that if they do, it’s not revenge, it’s not pettiness… and it is not imagined. That’s what happens when you never ever think as to whether someone wants the attention you have decided to aggressively dump on them. If you’ve been paying attention, you will have heard about the “whisper campaigns” of women telling others about Ghomeshi, about Weinstein and so many more. And yes, we tell stories about some of you…

There are men who I would not be alone with on an elevator for anything… (luckily, as they would be the first to point out, I’ve now hit the “too old to hit on” stage. O! Lucky lucky me!).  There are men who I’ve wordslapped a number of times… and really, they remember nothing except that I’m a bitch, and a feminist and I’m just really angry for no reason. They didn’t hear my words… they just ‘heard’ my gender.

Those of you who are worried:  because you do not listen. You do not ask, you do not listen… and at some level, you do not care. You do not want to have to ask women because they might say no… and you don’t need or want their consent. But if they say no, then you will be forced to stop or “look like a bad guy”. So you don’t ask, you don’t pay attention, you don’t listen… and this way, you can pretend that no woman can ever think you’ve done wrong… unless she’s just a hysterical feminist looking to join in on the witch hunt for all the glorious attention it brings.

We’re not gathering brooms to ride, gentlemen:  we’re using them to sweep out the dirt.